Misunderstood fear, found love
by Sanni York
Summary: Yugi likes Yami, but he's unsure of how to handle it and what to do if it is returned. Exaggerated fear fom yugi's side. Maybe, I'll post the lemon version sometime...


Here's the deal: I don't own anything in this story except the story itself. But the plot's probably been used many times. Oh well, who cares. This was my easiest story so far.

Misunderstood fear, found love

Yugi was walking home from school this cloudy day, as usually with butterflies in his stomach.

He was thinking about Yami. He had been in love with him for months, he found out shortly after that Yami didn't leave for the after world. Instead he had stayed in the Turtle Game shop with Yugi and his grandpa.

There was a chilly wind blowing and Yugi drove his hands inside the sleeves of his school jacket, and then hurried home.

In the beginning there had been shy looks from Yugi's direction, innocent. But soon there had been more dirty thoughts, like how Yami looked with very little clothing or nothing at all, and how it would feel to be very close and have Yami's hands all over him.

Sometimes he would blush, and if Yami was in the room, he would excuse himself to the bathroom or something. He was just too shy to do anything. Damn it. He also damned himself for thinking that way about the pharaoh. It felt like molesting him.

He took the door leading directly to his home for the game shop wasn't open. His grandpa was going through some paper.

"Hello, I'm home!" he called taking off his shoes.

"Welcome home, Yugi" his grandpa greeted him as he shuffled through a bunch of papers.

"How's it going?"

"Well. It seems like everything's in order. You can't imagine what one might find in old papers." Sugoroku chuckled.

"Oh. Well it wouldn't be anything I would be interested in. I'm upstairs." Yugi walked upstairs to his room and threw off his bag in a corner. Yami, who had been in his room came in.

"Hello Yugi:" he said and sat on the desk chair.

"Hi Yami" Yugi greeted and sat down cross legged on his bed. He gave a yawn and stretched. "So, how was special assignment?"

Yami studied him. "It was different, but doing a group work about energy wasn't exactly thrilling." Yugi smiled. Since Yami had decided to stay Yugi had convinced him to go to school with him. He had made it to Yugi's class and the group of friends had been completed.

The last days Yami and a few others had been put to an assignment about energy. It could only have been the teacher Osagawa's work.

"Well, keep on it and you'll get top scores." Yugi lay back on the bed. How was it that he could be in a room with Yami without any complications? …

Wait. He was in a room alone with Yami? Suddenly his the realisation dawned down on him with full force, and in a movie kind of way, Yami was zoomed in. Oh no.

Yugi suddenly sat up and got out of bed.

"Why don't we go down and see if grandpa needs help?" Yami looked quizzically then followed.

Yami was good looking.

There wasn't one girl in school who hadn't tried to date him and even a few guys had their eyes on him. Yugi tried to imagine how surprised Yami would look if a guy suddenly popped up: Hi! A date?

He snickered but remembered that he himself was a guy.

"What's so funny?" Jou asked beside him. The whole gang was at the bowling hall and had teamed up on different tracks. Yami was two tracks away with Marik, Anzu, and Seto. The sound of balls rolling and score counters ringing mixed with cones falling and people talking gave a pleasant atmosphere.

"Umm… nothing. Maybe the sugar is getting to me."

"Yeah, dese cans are just floating sugar, but dere damn good." He threw his ball and watched intensively as it rolled closer and closer the cones and just before hitting them rolled of the track.

"Aw man! Whatta aaaaargh!" The others laughed at his bad luck and antics.

"Man, you suck at this!" Honda mocked.

"Why you…!" Jou got cut of by Ryo.

"Honda, don't be mean to him. He can't help he's bad aiming." He said innocently.

"Yeah, that's ri- wait! Ryo!" Everyone laughed as the game continued. Needless to say Yugi won in his team and Yami in his.

The gang split up outside the hall and Yugi and Yami took the short cut through the park. It was already darkening and the chilling wind awoke Yugi from his warm sugar daze.

Though it was cloudy and chilly, with the park lights on it were quite cosy. Again Yugi's thoughts drifted of to Yami and how it would be to be really close, pressed up to a wall.

'Oh no! Here I go again!' he thought and mentally slapped himself. He glanced at Yami then looked down in the ground and frowned.

'Besides, why, if he is gay, would Yami choose me? There are a lot of cool guys in the school that are drooling over him. And if he's not gay, I would be strange and take him by surprise. But we had a talk about this. He don't mind guys. Sigh. But the thing is that he can have whoever he wants, and he knows it. No, I won't make a move.'

Yugi's lowered head and troubled face caught Yami's attention. He tilted his head to see Yugi's face better under the bangs.

"Yugi, what is it?" his concerned question caused Yugi to snap his head and stare like a deer in a highlight. He almost thought he was caught.

"Umm...nothing. I was just thinking about a lot." A diffuse explanation, yes, but if he had said "thinking about something" Yami would have wanted to know what. Thank God their mind link was easier to control since their separation.

"Sure about that?" It seemed more than nothing." Still concerned.

"Maybe I just look that way when I'm thinking." Yugi smiled. Yami looked up in front of him with a little frown of his own.

"You have been distant lately." He stated carefully. Yugi looked at him. "Not very noticeable. When you are around our friends you are open but with me… you seem a little tensed. And you avoid being alone with me."

That last statement was bolder and made Yugi tense up. The butterflies came back with full force and his heartbeat sped up.

He should have known Yami was this apprehensive.

Yami made a stop and turned to Yugi who also had stopped. Yugi avoided Yami's gaze, in fact, he avoided the entire of Yami and looked down at his left.

"Yugi, have I done something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing like that."

"Then what?"

Yugi was silent. He dared not say anything nor look at Yami. A hand slowly came up under

Yugi was silent. He dared not say anything nor look at Yami. A hand slowly came up under Yugi's chin and lifted it so he could look at him.

They held eye contact for what seemed like hours for Yugi. His heartbeat had skipped a beat at the touch but had quickened at the eye contact. He didn't like to feel so open and defenceless, so exposed, but it soon faded as he looked deeper in those crimson pools of care.

Yugi had almost forgot about the question, which floated around in the back of his mind, vanishing.

"Yugi… there is something I must tell you." Yami said calmly but sincerely. Yugi could just wait in his exposed state.

"For a few months I've had feelings for you. They've only gotten stronger and now I'm sure.

I love you."

At that last simple three worded statement Yugi froze. Then a tingling sensation spread from his stomach through his body. He almost cold sweated.

'He does? Really?' Yugi felt very happy, but before he showed that in a smile he remembered his earlier thoughts. Yami could have whoever he wanted. Why would he want Yugi? And was he really in love with him? He could just mistake the feeling for a want for sex with him.

Yeah, Yugi had heard about that.

But deep inside him he knew it wasn't true.

He looked down, breaking the eye contact.

"I have feelings for you too, I…" he took a deep breath. "I love you, Yami. But I'm scared. I don't want to be one of your many. I want something I know is real and not just a… pleasant relationship. I'm sorry…" he said lowly and walked away home through the park, leaving Yami alone in the weak light of a park lamp.

When Yugi knew he was out of sight he started running. The wind blew his tears away like crystals in the night and he tried not to sob.

'Why? Why? Why? Why did I do that? He must feel so hurt now!'

Yugi got to the house and dashed inside. The silence in the house was deafening and he sank down against the door feeling exposed to all the memories and everything lurking in the shadows. To the emptiness.

His grandpa was already asleep and he went to his own room to get ready for bed and seeking comfort.

He couldn't sleep. Yami hadn't come home yet and it was half past one. Yugi had cried and damned himself but now he just lay awake with an empty feeling.

Suddenly he perked up. Had he heard a soft closing of the front door? He listened through the silent dark then he heard soft footsteps stopping down the corridor to open and close the door to Yami's room. Then it was quiet again.

Yugi started crying again. He had been tensed, almost expecting Yami to come in and when he didn't he broke down. Of course, what could he have expected? Yugi cursed himself for his selfishness.

But Yami hadn't even hesitated.

The next day was a Saturday which meant no school. Yugi thanked the Gods for that. It meant he didn't have to see Yami at breakfast. It was eight twenty and he was hungry, but he didn't dare go down. He didn't dare to meet Yami. He was afraid of how he would be. Angry, sad? A silent disappointment in those eyes? Yugi felt the butterflies in his stomach, now for entire different reasons. He was afraid.

He stayed in bed to be sure Yami wouldn't come down when he ate breakfast. Maybe Yami had already went out?

When it was half past ten Yugi decided to take a peak. He silently opened his door and listened. No sound of anyone. His grandpa would work in the store for a few hours now.

He slowly and silently walked down the hall to listen through Yami's door. Nothing. Dared he open it? He reached for the handle with a shaky hand. He cold sweated again and the whole of him shook. No! He suddenly snapped the hand back and backed away. He was too afraid. Instead he made his way down to the kitchen.

Empty.

He sighed. He was alone. It was a relief but in the same time he felt disappointed. He wanted to apologise.

Apologise.

It sounded so simple. The word Apologise. It didn't feel like it held the problem they had.And it was easy it say it without meaning it.

He had sandwiches for breakfast. While he ate them he planned different ways of telling Yami he was sorry. He hadn't meant what he had said. He had just been afraid. Yeah, scared little Yugi.

He snorted. How he hated himself sometimes.

The most of the day he was out looking for Yami. He had come up with the perfect way to apologise, or at least he hoped Yami would understand.

He had searched the park, the arcade, his friends, even the bowling hall but hadn't found Yami. Now he was worried. And he felt himself shaking. He couldn't face Yami. He didn't dare.

And now it was four p.m. Yami might be home. Yugi who had been on his way home faltered at his steps then stopped. He couldn't go home.

Not now. What if Yami was there? Yugi almost started to cry again. Was he so afraid of Yami that he didn't even dare to go home?

Instead he decides to go to the park. He sat down on a bench away from view from anyone and everyone.

As always when you're out and want to go home Yugi was painfully aware of every passing second. The tension and restlessness really took the better of him.

Anyway he sat on the bench to around six. The sun was still a bit in he sky since it was early fall. Now he couldn't was anymore. He had to go home. His grandpa might be worried.

He slowly made his way home now wanting to prolong the dreadful moment.

He stopped at a corner from where he could see the living part of the game shop building.

The lights were on but no one was seen in the windows.

He causally went closer and looked inside through the kitchen window.

'Well this is comical. I have to peak in my own house. And I sound like Kaiba.'

There was no one inside the room but further in, in the living room sat his grandpa on a fofa watching TV and in the other sofa sat Yami.

Yugi's heart stopped then sped up to lightening speed. Yami sat with folded arms, a leg over the other looking down in front of hi. He was frowning.

Yugi gulped. Anxiety made his heart beat hard. He turned around and sank down against the wall.

'Ok. Calm down. It's not like he's gonna send you to the shadow realm or yell at you.' An image of Yami's stern face hiding, or have come over disappointment and betrayal came before his eyes. That scared Yugi the most.

'Ok. I'll go up to my room and stay there. The stairs are blocked from view from the living room so I just have to go by a few steps.' He stood up and took a deep breath. 'Ok. Here goes nothing.'

He went to the door, the butterflies had returned and it almost felt like the world was spinning.

He quickly opened the door, went inside and closed it. A deep breath then he went to the stairs, threw a "Hi grandpa!" to the living room and ran upstairs.

Yami had rose from the sofa when he heard the front door open but Yugi had quickly vanished upstairs without looking in the living room.

He had only greeted his grandpa.

He sat down again, frowning, now in worry and thoughtfulness.

Yugi closed his door and sighed, and then he threw himself on the bed. He didn't feel like crying, just thinking and worrying. He had meant to look normal and not just rush past. He must have looked desperate.

'Wonder what Yami thought. I didn't look his way. What if he just sat and looked after me with his stern look.' Again Yugi pictured Yami, now sitting on the sofa and just look sourly at him while he ran past.

Yugi really felt helpless now. Trapped in his own room. He didn't even dare to go to the bathroom.

He decide to change to his pyjamas then sat down in the bed he had left unmade since this morning.

He waited for what seemed like hours, though it only was half an hour.

All that time something had bugged him and now he knew what it was. He hadn't locked the door. Yami could just come in if he wanted, and though he probably wouldn't, Yugi felt really insecure. Yet he didn't go up to lock the door. Not was he afraid to do it, but he kept hoping that Yami would come in and comfort him. He wanted so badly to be embraced by Yami and to tell him he was sorry.

He decided to go to the bathroom, since he really needed it. The hall was empty, thank God, so he hurriedly made his way to the desired room and locked the door.

When he anyway was in there he decided to take a shower. The warm water made him feel a little better and the sound blocked out other possible sounds.

'Why am I so afraid of him? Sure, I've seen what he can do, with the shadow realm and everything, but I'm his light even if we are separated. And I still truly love him and he… well he loved me anyway, so I should feel secure. Am I just afraid of having hurt his feelings? Yeah… that's it. I don't want him sad and I don't want to be the one having caused it. I'm afraid of my own doing.'

With that he turned the shower off, dried himself and put the pyjamas on. He was about to unlock the door when he heard steps in the hall and a door that closed. Then it was silent.

He stood with the hand on the handle and waited, but nothing happened. He opened the door and went to his room, but when he was halfway he stopped and looked at Yami's door. It looked awfully closed.

Yugi was the one that had screwed things up and now he dammed had to get things right.

He walked to the door and raised his hand to knock, after a little hesitation.

Before he could do that though, the door opened to reveal Yami on his way out. He stopped when he saw Yugi.

Yugi's heart had skipped three beats and now raced in his chest. The body felt frozen. He slowly lowered his hand.

They looked at each other for a few seconds, Yugi worried and afraid, almost shivering and Yami, just looking at him as there had been no problem, nothing in fact. Though Yugi couldn't wonder if there was a "what-do-you-want" look.

He broke their eye contact and looked down licking his lips.

"Hi Yami." He said weakly.

"Yugi." Yami greeted. Yugi took a calming breath, though it didn't help.

"I wanted to tell you I'm sorry… about yesterday. I didn't- I didn't mean it that way, I was just afraid of… that… I don't know. I just am afraid and now my weakness have hurt the one I care the most about." He finished whispering. He wasn't about to cry and he didn't feel as afraid now. Now he just felt exposed.

Yami had been quiet the whole time. Yugi didn't know how he had reacted. Probably in a very Yami-ish way, just narrowing his eyes a bit.

Yugi waited. He could wait. After all, he had been the one indicating that Yami just wanted sex when he had admitted his deepest feelings, his love for Yugi. So he could wait.

Yami relaxed, lowering his shoulders and smiled a small smile at is aibou.

Yugi, who looked down, anywhere beside Yami, didn't see that. He only saw Yami step closer saying his name.

"Yugi…"

He backed a small step, surprised by the others action and didn't know what to expect. Yami followed him and let one arm sneak around his waist as his free hand came up to lift Yugi's chin.

For the first time Yugi saw that Yami was smiling. At him. Towards him. A well-known dash from the butterflies came back, now of nervousness as he looked in those crimson portals to Yami's soul. Genuinely happy. Yami looked at him with such care and happiness that Yugi felt overwhelmed and light-headed.

The hand that held his chin now felt confident that Yugi wouldn't look away and started to caress his jaw line and cheek.

"Yugi, I'm not mad at you. You don't have to be afraid. And I know you, I probably shouldn't have told you so boldly like I did, I just felt that I needed to. Really badly." He said sincerely. Then he lowered his head and smiled.

"And you made me rethink my feelings. You were right, a bit. But isn't that an important part of love?" he looked down at Yugi who was stunned. Yami really wanted him? Him? In that way? It made Yugi proud and happy.

Yami saw the change of thoughts on Yugi's face and was proud to be the reason.

His caressing stopped at the chin and he held Yugi's face steady and leaned down. His lips met the small timid ones of Yugi and he felt a pressure and a need ease. He slowly tasted Yugi's warm lips to keep the new sweet taste forever in his memory. Finally they had each other; he could kiss and hug Yugi without hesitation.

He slowly pulled away, looking at Yugi, searching for a respond. Yugi was slowly opening his eyes meeting Yami's caring ones. He was dazed from the feeling and his whole body tingled. That had been his first kiss, and it had been so sensual. Only Yami could make him feel that way.

"Yami…" he said breathlessly. They leaned in to each other and kissed again, their arms encircling each others body to press closer. The kiss deepened when Yami licked Yugi's bottom lip and gained access to the sweet hot cavern. He caressed Yugi's tongue, coaxing him to kiss back. Yugi responded eagerly, caressing the hot proof of love and moaning a little.

Downstairs, grandpa had fallen asleep on the sofa during The Simpson's

Well, that was good. At least I think so.

When I wrote this, questions developed in my otherwise airy head.

What happens to the socks in lemons?

And why don't they ever have real gay problems like; Oh no! I'm gay! Im gonna be killed, or; he isn't gay so I might as well do nothing, or; he left me!

Granted, they wouldn't be so good lemons if that happened. I probably avoid those tragic stories for that reason.

And I have another ff on the move! **Review** so I know someone thinks my stories aren't lousy.


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